no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
