you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
