All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
