all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
