10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
