There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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