Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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