i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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