I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
