well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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