Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
