i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
