So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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