You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
