i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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