she was so not down for the gang bang
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
