He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize