my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need to sanitize my soul.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
