Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
