I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
