Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
