Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
