Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
