forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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