i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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