Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
