i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have post one night stand depression
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
