Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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