I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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