I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
