After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
