Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize