Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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