Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize