my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
