booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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