never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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