I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
