East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
