Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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