I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
40s are totally the cure
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
