Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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