There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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