One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
