shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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