i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
