you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
