the day after is always just damage control
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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