I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
