Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
