i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
wow bdsm is so cute
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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