My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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