I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
