it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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