I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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