my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
