If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
