But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
