Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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