Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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