this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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