Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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