i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize