I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
