pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
