I don't remember. Are we still dating?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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