how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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