sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize