Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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