Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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