If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize