You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
