You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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