College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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