So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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