so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
