I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
