Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
